03 – Bait and Stitch
Series: Roy Kaplan
Season: Out of Sight
Release Date: January 25, 2025
Episode Summary: An old face comes back into Kaplan’s life with a dire request–to steal a piece of incriminating evidence before she catches the heat. For Kaplan, theft is easy, but unraveling the deceptions and motivations behind it all is a little harder.
PRODUCTION CREDITS:
ORIGINAL SCRIPT: Jesse Peng
EDITING and PRODUCTION: Jesse Peng
COVER ART: Jesse Peng
MUSIC: Beacon
VOICE CAST:
KAPLAN: Jesse Peng
WES: Caleb Jensen
LOCKE: Maganda Marie
VOLLMAN: Kyle “Alphalance” Stover
NOTION: Zuwie LeFou
RECEPTIONIST: Steven Jobson
ELEVATOR: Rebecca Clifford
A special thank you to our $10/month Patreon subscriber, Jennifer Ford :)
02 – Murder By Proxy | Roy Kaplan Home | Out of Sight Home | 04 – Dead Man’s Safe
OUT OF SIGHT: BAIT AND STITCH
INTRO: Where honest work isn’t enough to get the job done, there’s nothing a little thievery can’t accomplish–it’s Roy Kaplan, Private Investigator!
(INTRO THEME.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) Kaplan speaking. I don’t think there’s a person alive in this world who likes it when their past comes back to haunt them. It’s nice to think you can put all those people and places behind you because that part of your life is over, and in a perfect world, that would be the end of it. Well, sometimes I’m not so lucky. I’ve got parts of my life I’m not too proud of, same as anyone else. You can imagine how I felt when one of those parts of my life walked back through my door, thinking they could pull a bait and stitch over my eyes.
(MUSIC TRANSITION.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) It was a hot day–the kind of day that makes you want to stick your head in an oven just to have a basis for comparison. I’d been running errands when the sun came back out, so I decided to stop by my office to cool off in peace. I thought I’d be alone–nobody really does in-person meetings these days. I was wrong.
(DOOR OPENS.)
LOCKE: Roy Kaplan. Well, aren’t you a sight to behold.
KAPLAN: (V.O.) She was sitting at my desk, bold as brass. She looked annoyed. Well, that wasn’t special–most people I talked to looked like that.
LOCKE: I’ve been waiting over half an hour. How in the world do you get business like this?
KAPLAN: I have a number. You could have called.
LOCKE: That’s not the point. You have an office–why do you bother if you’re never actually in?
KAPLAN: I’m here now, aren’t I? In this day and age, walk-ins aren’t really a thing. But never mind that. Did you need something?
LOCKE: You shouldn’t ask questions with obvious answers, Red. It’s not becoming of you. But I suppose it’s too much to expect you to change old habits.
KAPLAN: …Sorry, do I know you?
LOCKE: You don’t recognize me? I’m hurt. And after all the time we spent together, too.
KAPLAN: Okay, well, if you don’t hurry up and explain why you’re in my office, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.
LOCKE: It’s me. Viola Locke. We used to work together, remember?
KAPLAN: (V.O.) Oh, that was a name that brought back memories. Believe it or not, I wasn’t always the charming and handsome private investigator I am now. A long, long time ago, I used to work security–and that’s not a euphemism. One of my first jobs was in the business of making sure things didn’t get stolen, and Vi had been one of my coworkers. We were good friends once, but now…things were different.
KAPLAN: Vi. It’s been eight years.
LOCKE: It has. Didn’t you miss me, Red?
KAPLAN: Absolutely not. And don’t call me that. My hair’s not even the right color anymore.
LOCKE: Yes, I see you’ve depigmented your hair. It’s such a shame–it used to look so nice. White really doesn’t suit you.
KAPLAN: Why are you here, Vi?
LOCKE: Don’t ask the obvious. I need your help. You’re the only one who can.
KAPLAN: (V.O.) I wasn’t sure how much I believed that. Vi had never been the kind of person to ask for help, much less mine, but it wasn’t like she’d come all the way out here for no reason, either. If I was smart, I would send her away–but nobody ever accused me of doing the smart thing. I was curious enough to bite.
(KAPLAN SITS DOWN.)
KAPLAN: All right, then. What’s so urgent you need my help specifically?
LOCKE: I’m being threatened.
KAPLAN: Threatened how?
LOCKE: The same way anyone gets threatened–I made someone angry who’s got a lot of money and power, so now they’ve got leverage and are trying to squeeze me with it.
KAPLAN: Okay. I’m sorry to hear that, but I don’t see where I come into this.
LOCKE: Don’t be impatient. I’m getting there.
KAPLAN: Sure, sure.
LOCKE: It’s Johan Vollman, that insane inventor man who keeps exploding his labs. I reported him for his safety violations and now he’s got it out for me. He’s planning to frame me, Red.
KAPLAN: Frame you? For what?
LOCKE: I don’t know yet. Knowing him, some kind of bombing–that would be easy enough. You know, with his equipment. But he’s gotten a pair of my gloves–he’s going to put my prints everywhere and pin it all on me.
KAPLAN: Okay…
LOCKE: I’ve been trying to stop him, but he keeps those gloves in a safe in his lab that’s under constant watch. If he doesn’t have those gloves, he doesn’t have anything on me.
KAPLAN: Get to the point, Vi.
LOCKE: Red. You’re the fastest safecracker I’ve ever met. I’ve never known anyone who can crack locks like you do. If anyone can get those gloves back, it’ll be you.
KAPLAN: What are you asking me to do, then?
LOCKE: You can’t possibly be this stupid. I’ve told you all this and you don’t know?
KAPLAN: I know what you’re asking me. I just want you to say it directly to my face.
LOCKE: (Deep breath) I want you to steal those gloves for me.
KAPLAN: And how am I going to do that? Just because I know about opening safes doesn’t mean I can break into someone’s house.
LOCKE: I’ve got everything you need to know–the security at the lab, the time the guards change shifts, the maps of the place–and the systems are going down for maintenance tomorrow night. It’s the best chance anyone will ever have, and you’re the only one who can open that safe.
KAPLAN: You’ve put a lot of thought into this.
LOCKE: Of course I have. It’s my neck on the line.
KAPLAN: Yeah, well, if this plan of yours goes tits-up, it’s my neck on the line, too. Why do you think I’ll do something illegal for you?
LOCKE: You’re my only hope, Red. I know we didn’t part on good terms, but we were important to each other, once. Just help me this last time, and we’ll never have to see each other again.
KAPLAN: If that’s what I wanted, it seems like I can just say no and then I’ll just never see you again all the same.
LOCKE: Red. Roy, please. If it’s money you want, I can pay you–I just need those gloves.
KAPLAN: Hm. Do you have those materials with you right now?
LOCKE: What?
KAPLAN: You said you had maps and information about the guard shifts and security. Do you have it with you?
LOCKE: Of course I do.
KAPLAN: Leave them with me. You shouldn’t be walking around with that kind of stuff.
(LOCKE TAKES PAPERS OUT OF HER BAG.)
LOCKE: Here. Does this mean you’ll do it?
KAPLAN: I don’t know. I haven’t decided if I like you that much. You said tomorrow night everything goes down for maintenance?
LOCKE: Yes. Just after midnight, there shouldn’t be any surveillance on the lab.
(KAPLAN PICKS UP THE PAPERS. PAGE FLIPS.)
KAPLAN: Interesting.
LOCKE: What’s interesting?
KAPLAN: Nothing. I’m just talking to myself.
LOCKE: You did always have that habit. Do you still talk to people who aren’t there?
KAPLAN: Get out of my office, Vi. I’m tired of you.
LOCKE: You still haven’t said whether you’ll do it.
KAPLAN: Come back in two days. You’ll have your answer then.
LOCKE: So that’s how you’re going to play it? Very well. See you in two days, Red.
(LOCKE EXITS, DOOR CLOSES.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) With that, she left. I waited a little to see if she’d come back, but she didn’t. She must have thought she had me on the hook. Well, that was all right. She had thought I was an idiot eight years ago, too.
(FLIPPING THROUGH PAPERS.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) The notes she gave me were good…if the information was true. I never trust someone else to work up a burglary for me, and I trusted Vi about as far as I could throw her. I could buy Vi tracking me down after all this time to ask me to commit a crime for her. But for her to go to all this effort? That took some suspension of disbelief. This was a setup if I’d ever seen one. The question was just what I wanted to do about it…
(MUSIC TRANSITION.)
(CLOTHING NOISE.)
WES: So, Roy. Explain to me again: if you know this frail is trying to set you up, why are you going along with it anyways?
KAPLAN: Well, Wes. I don’t think Vi picked this target randomly. I think there’s something there she actually wants–she just wants me to take the fall for it. I think it’s worth finding out what she’s scheming.
WES: And you think the best way to do that is to commit the burglary you know is a trap?
KAPLAN: What? No, I may not be the brightest bulb in the box but I’m not stupid. I’m not waiting until tonight to commit a crime at the exact time and place she told me, that’s practically gift wrapping myself for whoever Vi decides to sic on me.
(ZIPPER.)
KAPLAN: No, I’m doing the burglary right now.
WES: It’s broad daylight.
KAPLAN: Exactly. See you around, Wes.
(MUSIC TRANSITION.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) I did some looking into Dr. Johan Vollman because I am a good little boy who doesn’t copy other people’s homework. Dr. Vollman was a specialist in chemistry and material sciences, currently working at the appropriately named Materichem Industries. He wasn’t a household name by any stretch of the word, but he’d written a few papers about metamaterials that were pretty exciting…if you happen to be the kind of person who reads papers about metamaterials. As for his personal life, I didn’t find much. His husband also worked research and he had no children. No scandals or events of note, except a couple of laboratory chemical explosion incidents with no casualties. I always believe in doing first-hand research when I can, so I put some color in my hair, pulled on a set of working clothes, and went down to the lab.
(ENTER LOBBY. AMBIENT CROWD NOISE.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) The thing about theft is that there are a lot of ways to get the job done, and not all of them are good for every situation. I’m biased towards burglary because I believe in playing to your strengths, but the truth is, the easiest way to get what you want in most cases is to convince someone to give it to you.
(FOOTSTEPS.)
RECEPTIONIST: Welcome to Materichem Industries. How can I help you today?
KAPLAN: Hello. I’m Blaine Chandler, security inspector from Cryptech.
RECEPTIONIST: Oh, I wasn’t aware we had a security inspection scheduled right now.
KAPLAN: We’re running maintenance tonight on the labs. It’s standard to conduct a daytime visit beforehand, just so we can see how security is during working hours. Do you mind if I come in?
RECEPTIONIST: Can I see your ID?
KAPLAN: Of course. Here you are.
(BADGE JINGLE. COMPUTER PROCESSING SUCCESS.)
RECEPTIONIST: Blaine…Chandler. Everything looks to be in order, Mr. Chandler. I’ll buzz you in.
KAPLAN: Thanks. Do you know if Dr. Vollman is in?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes, he should be. You’ll want to go up to the R&D floor. When you come out of the elevator, go right and the office is just down the hall, third door on the left.
KAPLAN: Cheers. Appreciate the help.
(BUZZER. KAPLAN ENTERS. DOOR CLOSES.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) There’s a joke that you can get away with anything if you carry a clipboard and walk confidently. It’s not as much of a joke as you might hope–with a phony ID, the right clothes, and a calm demeanor, you can get pretty much anywhere. After all, what are the chances someone’s running a con?
ELEVATOR DING.
ELEVATOR: (DIGITAL) Seventh floor. Research and development.
(FOOTSTEPS. MUFFLED TYPING. DOOR KNOCKING, THEN OPEN. TYPING STOPS.)
VOLLMAN: Can I help you?
KAPLAN: Hello, Dr. Vollman. Sorry to drop in without warning like this. I’m Blaine Chandler, a security inspector from Cryptech. We’re running a daytime inspection before we do maintenance tonight.
VOLLMAN: What? I’m sorry, I must have completely forgotten, of course you’re here about the security. Thank you for coming, Mr. Chandler.
KAPLAN: Just doing my job, sir. I remember you wanted us to do security checks on the research labs, but is there anything else?
VOLLMAN: No, that would be all. Do you need me to show you the safe?
KAPLAN: I’d appreciate that. It’s easy to get lost in a place like this.
VOLLMAN: (Laughs) Yes, that’s true. Let me put this away, and I’ll take you there.
KAPLAN: (V.O.) Vollman seemed like a pleasant enough man. He was a little scatterbrained, but he meant well. He didn’t look like someone who would try and frame Vi for a bombing. He just wasn’t mean enough for it.
(WALKING.)
VOLLMAN: I hate to have to go to these kinds of measures, Mr. Chandler. But there are people after our research and I don’t know why. Maybe they want to sabotage us? Or maybe they want to find out what we’re doing before we can release it.
KAPLAN: Is that a common issue with research?
VOLLMAN: It’s not! It isn’t. At least, I don’t think so. Nobody I’ve talked to thinks so, but I can’t help but think someone wants it. Securing our research results is for my peace of mind more than anything else.
KAPLAN: Well, Dr. Vollman, no matter what your reasons are, I’ll do my best to make sure nobody gets their hands on your research.
VOLLMAN: Yes. I know you will. Thank you.
(FOOTSTEPS STOP. KEYCODE ENTRY, DOOR UNLOCKS. ENTERS ROOM.)
VOLLMAN: This is where I keep the safe.
KAPLAN: Not a very large safe, is it?
VOLLMAN: No, but it’s big enough for everything I need.
KAPLAN: That’s all that matters.
(FOOTSTEPS.)
KAPLAN: Let’s see…you’ve got a climate-controlled safe here, certified fire and water resistant. Electronic lock with a high-security keypad. Drill resistant, properly anchored to the wall. This is good so far–as long as your passcode is secure. You’ve changed it from the manufacturer default, right?
VOLLMAN: Yes, I have.
KAPLAN: Good man.
KAPLAN: (V.O.) True to Vi’s word, it was a good safe. With these models, the deadbolt is heavy and made out of hardened steel, and positioned so there’s no way to access it from the outside. The electronics that control the lock are similarly protected. With conventional tools, you’d have to cut the safe out of the wall first to try and attack the electronics, but I didn’t need any of that–I’d worked with this design before and I knew what they looked like on the inside. With telekinesis I could directly unlatch the deadbolt and crack it open in a minute or two. But why make things complicated if I don’t have to?
KAPLAN: Dr. Vollman, would you mind opening this safe for me?
VOLLMAN: What for?
KAPLAN: I can’t check the locking mechanism while it’s closed. It’ll just be a minute or so.
VOLLMAN: Oh, of course. One moment.
(PASSCODE ENTRY. SAFE BEEPS AND OPENS.)
KAPLAN: Thanks. Let’s see what we’ve got here.
VOLLMAN: Please be careful with the contents, Mr. Chandler.
KAPLAN: I won’t touch a thing.
(FOOTSTEPS.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) There wasn’t a lot in the safe. Some data chips, a couple of notebooks, and yes, a pair of gloves. It seems Vi wasn’t lying about everything.
KAPLAN: It looks like everything’s up to code, sir. I’ll close this up.
(SAFE CLOSES AND BEEPS.)
KAPLAN: Just make sure you keep that passcode secure and I don’t think anyone will be taking anything from here.
VOLLMAN: That’s a relief. Thank you.
KAPLAN: (V.O.) After that, Vollman gave me a tour around the labs to look into their other systems. I looked into it for real just to see if Vi’s information was actually good, and for the most part, it was, which surprised me. At the end of the appointment, Vollman sent me off with thanks. He honestly seemed like a decent kind of guy, which made me feel a little bad about the stolen gloves in my pocket, but you don’t make a career as a burglar for five years by getting guilty about the people you rob. I still had a few hours of daylight so I headed back home to look at the goods.
WES: You’re back. I suppose your crime outing went well?
KAPLAN: Hello, Wes, good afternoon to you, too. Things went fine. I got what Vi asked me for.
WES: A pair of gloves? What kind of gloves are so important you have to go to all that trouble?
KAPLAN: Good question. Vi said these gloves were hers and that Vollman was going to use them to frame her using the prints. She was lying, of course.
WES: And what makes you say that?
KAPLAN: The whole story’s a sham. These gloves aren’t made of regular fabric, they’re metamer gloves.
WES: What, like those magic gloves you wear?
KAPLAN: Wes, I know metamaterials didn’t exist in the 20th century, but you’ve got to stop calling them magic.
WES: I think I’m allowed to call anything that was invented after I died ‘magic’. You ought to be happy I’m keeping up with all this in the first place. Those meteor gloves make it so you don’t leave prints, right?
KAPLAN: (Sigh) It’s not that metamer gloves don’t leave prints–it’s that they don’t leave reproducible prints. Every print they leave is different. That way you can’t match prints to the source–that’s why burglars like them so much. Even if these gloves were Vi’s, nobody could use these to frame her.
WES: So what, your dame wants to commit some burglaries of her own?
KAPLAN: Vi isn’t my anything, and no, I don’t think that’s it. The prints thing isn’t the main use of metamer gloves, it’s just a bonus. My gloves are designed for grip so I climb buildings easier–these gloves have to have some secret in them, too. Vollman was a metamaterials researcher–these could be anything, but I don’t know what and I don’t have the time to read a bunch of research papers to learn what they are.
WES: If you ask me, you ought to call in an expert.
KAPLAN: …Yeah. You’re right. I think it’s time to see how my tailor is doing.
(MUSIC TRANSITION.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) When you do work like mine, whether that’s burglary or private investigation, it’s important to have the right tools for the job. I’m not rich, but one of the things I never skimp on is the clothes–when you don’t know when you’ll have to scale a building and steal someone’s secrets, you’ve got to be ready at any time. That’s why I’ve got a guy who makes all my specialty gear–my gloves, my coat, my boots, even my grappling hook. If anyone would know something about these gloves, it would be them.
(DOOR OPENS. SHOP BELL RINGS. STEADY SEWING MACHINE NOISE, SLOWS AND STOPS.)
NOTION: Roy! Oh man, is that you? Oh, it’s been a hot second since I’ve seen you.
KAPLAN: Hey, Notion. You got some time?
NOTION: Depends on what you’re looking for. If it’s about clothes, yeah, I’m all ears, but if it’s specialty goods, you’re gonna have to wait until business hours are over–I’ve got a costume to work on and it’s a rush job.
KAPLAN: Sure, sure. I can come back. I’ll stop by the coffee shop on the way, is there anything you want?
NOTION: (Laughs) Well, now I know you want me to do something for you. (Thinks) Well, I won’t say no to a coffee. Get me an iced mocha–you know how I like them. I should be done with this in about an hour.
KAPLAN: Sounds great. I’ll see you then.
(FOOTSTEPS.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) I first met Notion years back, after I got fired from my security job for being too good at cracking safes. I was kind of in a bad time in my life then, and willing to pick up about any job. Notion had needed help–they had racked up some debts they couldn’t pay off, and needed someone who could make those debts disappear. At that point, I hadn’t broken into a building before, but I knew how security systems worked and how to get around them, and Notion was willing to pay. So I did the job, and that’s how I got my start with burglary. Now, they get me good equipment for an affordable price. It’s a good working relationship.
(PULL UP CHAIRS. CHAIR CREAK.)
NOTION: All right. Sorry for the wait, Roy. You know how business is.
KAPLAN: Yeah, no problem. My fault for not calling ahead anyways. Here’s your coffee.
NOTION: Oh, you’re an angel. So what are you looking for? You rip your coat again? Need a new grappling hook? I was looking into new firing mechanisms I think you might be interested in…
KAPLAN: I’m actually here to ask you about some gloves.
NOTION: What? You need a new pair of gloves? Metamer doesn’t grow on trees, Roy. What happened to your last pair?
KAPLAN: No, no. My–my gloves are fine. I don’t need new ones. I found a different pair of metamer gloves and I was hoping you could tell me more about them.
(KAPLAN TAKES OUT GLOVES AND HANDS THEM TO NOTION.)
NOTION: Hm. Well, the first thing I can tell you is these were made by an amateur. The sewing is terrible.
KAPLAN: And what about the fabric?
NOTION: I can’t tell just by looking. I don’t see any optical activity. Let me try matching the nanostructures.
(NOTION BOOTS UP A TESTING DEVICE.)
NOTION: This fabric doesn’t match any of the metamaterials in the database. How did you get it?
KAPLAN: I’m sure if you think about it for a few seconds, you can make a good guess.
NOTION: Right, stupid question. Who did you steal these from?
KAPLAN: Johan Vollman.
NOTION: Vollman? You–you stole his prototype metamer? What the hell for?
KAPLAN: Someone asked me to do it. I’m trying to find out why.
NOTION: Roy, you can’t just steal people’s research, that’s messed up.
KAPLAN: I didn’t know they were metamer gloves when I snatched them, though I probably should have guessed since they were in a high-security safe with the rest of his research backups. Can you find out what this metamer does?
NOTION: I don’t know. I can try.
KAPLAN: (V.O.) With that, Notion pulled out some of their equipment and started messing around with the gloves. I don’t really know what tests they ran, but I was sure they knew what they were doing.
NOTION: Ow!
KAPLAN: Notion? Everything all right?
NOTION: Yeah, just peachy. I think I know what your metamer does now.
KAPLAN: Yeah?
(KAPLAN APPROACHES.)
NOTION: It’s an abrasive. See, if you touch it like this, it’s perfectly smooth, but if you put some tension on…
KAPLAN: Ow!
NOTION: Yeah. Pretty interesting, isn’t it?
KAPLAN: So it turns abrasive when you try stretching it. What’s so great about that?
NOTION: I don’t know. But it’s pretty neat, don’t you think? You could probably strip skin with this.
KAPLAN: That’s not really what I call neat. That’s kind of gruesome, actually. So what, you could use these gloves as some kind of weapon? You make a fist and then you rip someone’s face off while punching their lights out?
NOTION: Nah, I don’t think they’re meant to be used like that. This kind of metamer’s probably got some niche utility–they never really figure out good uses for new metamaterials until later on. I bet Vollman made these into gloves mostly just to prove the fabric was, you know, flexible enough to do that.
KAPLAN: I see. So why would someone want these?
NOTION: Beats me. You’re on your own for that one. Here, have your gloves back.
KAPLAN: Thanks. I appreciate the help.
NOTION: Yeah! Thanks for the coffee. Is there anything else you needed help with?
KAPLAN: Actually, now that you mention it, there is one thing…
(MUSIC TRANSITION.)
KAPLAN: (V.O.) I had a long night to think about what Vi was trying to pull and what I wanted to do about it. I didn’t come up with a lot of answers. Well, when you don’t know something, you go to the person who does, so the next morning I went back to my office.
(DOOR OPENS.)
LOCKE: Red. It’s about time you got here.
KAPLAN: It’s ten in the morning. It’s not that late.
LOCKE: You didn’t show up yesterday. I guess you got cold feet.
KAPLAN: Who said anything about cold feet? You wanted these gloves, didn’t you?
LOCKE: (Flustered) What–but you weren’t there last night. How did you–
KAPLAN: You don’t have to look so surprised. You said I was the only one who could get them. Well, I got them.
LOCKE: You did. I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d have the guts.
KAPLAN: I bet you didn’t. I’m not the same person you knew eight years ago, Vi. Here. Have your gloves back.
(KAPLAN TOSSES GLOVES ONTO DESK.)
LOCKE: Thank you, Red. I don’t know how I could ever possibly thank you enough.
KAPLAN: I want answers, Vi.
LOCKE: How do you mean?
KAPLAN: Just about some small things. Did you know Vollman is a metamaterials researcher? Specializing in metamer textiles, no less.
LOCKE: Why would I know something like that?
KAPLAN: He’s the one threatening you, isn’t he? If you were really so concerned, you would have looked him up. Somewhere in the middle of making all those plans you gave me, you must have noticed what he was researching.
LOCKE: What are you trying to get at?
KAPLAN: I know you lied to me, Vi. Those gloves aren’t yours and Vollman isn’t the one who’s threatening you. Who wants those gloves?
LOCKE: Why would I need to give them to anyone? They’re mine.
KAPLAN: They’re not yours, because you don’t even know what the gloves are. Who hired you? Who made you track me down and ask me to steal this poor man’s research?
LOCKE: Nobody hired me. I’m here because I needed your help and I’m not about to sit here and take these baseless accusations! Why shouldn’t I just turn around and report you for stealing these?
KAPLAN: Now you’re sounding like the Vi I remember. I don’t think I’m the one who should worry about law enforcement.
(KAPLAN PULLS OUT AN AUDIO RECORDER. CLICK ON.)
LOCKE: (RECORDED) I want you to steal those gloves for me.
KAPLAN: (RECORDED) And how am I going to do that? Just because I know about opening safes doesn’t mean I can break into someone’s house.
LOCKE: (RECORDED) I’ve got everything you need to know–the security at the lab, the time the guards change shifts, the maps of the place–and the systems are going down for maintenance tomorrow night. It’s the best chance anyone will ever have.
(END PLAYBACK.)
LOCKE: You…you set me up!
KAPLAN: Did you think I wouldn’t? How stupid and naive do you think I am?
(KAPLAN FLINGS PAPERS ONTO DESK.)
KAPLAN: Did you really think I’d buy that you would go to the effort of collecting all this information for me so I could commit a neat little burglary? These plans aren’t even in your handwriting! I don’t think you’ve ever stepped foot in that building.
LOCKE: Don’t ask questions, Red. It’s better for everyone involved if you don’t.
KAPLAN: You know me, Vi, I can never leave well enough alone. I’m not asking for much–I just want a name. Who’s pulling the strings here?
LOCKE: I can’t tell you that.
KAPLAN: Can’t? Or won’t?
LOCKE: If you keep pushing, then you’ll leave me no choice. Don’t make me hurt you.
KAPLAN: Yeah? Just try me.
(LOCKE ATTACKS KAPLAN, THROWING BOTH TO THE GROUND.)
LOCKE: (Frustrated) Why aren’t these gloves working?
KAPLAN: (Strained) Were you expecting something else? Of course I wasn’t about to give you the real ones when I knew you were lying through your teeth, so I asked a friend to make some dummies. Those gloves are fake.
LOCKE: You rotten son of a–
(KAPLAN PUNCHES LOCKE AND GETS UP.)
LOCKE: Ah!
KAPLAN: Doesn’t feel so good when you’re on the receiving end, now does it?
LOCKE: (Breathing hard) You…Red…
KAPLAN: I already told you. Don’t call me that. You lost that right eight years ago. Explain yourself, Vi.
LOCKE: Screw you.
(KAPLAN SHOVES LOCKE TO THE WALL.)
KAPLAN: Spill it, Vi. Who put you up to all this? What happened?
LOCKE: Oh. That’s a good face on you–that anger. I always wondered if you were human enough to feel petty emotions like the rest of us.
KAPLAN: That’s not an answer.
LOCKE: (Laughs) You want to know what happened? You’ll be disappointed. It’s not much of a story.
KAPLAN: Tell me.
LOCKE: If you want to know so bad, then fine. I’ll be happy to.
(KAPLAN LETS LOCKE GO, LOCKE SITS.)
LOCKE: It was two weeks ago. I was minding my own business, like I always do, and I heard about a safecracking incident. It reminded me of you. You did always have that…uncanny way of getting locks open. You never told me your secret trick.
KAPLAN: There is no secret trick. Keep talking.
LOCKE: I don’t know if that’s what started all of this. But not one day later, they found me.
KAPLAN: Who?
LOCKE: That person. They found me outside my workplace and asked me about you. I told them to piss off, because I didn’t give a damn about some upstart from eight years ago. It wasn’t as if I cared to remember much about you anyways.
KAPLAN: And then what happened?
LOCKE: They didn’t like that. They said I could tell them what I knew about you, or they would make me. Well, nobody tells me what to do, so I flipped them off and left. Or I tried to. They grabbed me and…
KAPLAN: And what?
LOCKE: I don’t know. I don’t know what they did to me, but they were in my head, Roy. They made me give up everything I knew about you. And when they had enough, they said I had to do something for them. I had to find you and make you steal those gloves.
KAPLAN: Why?
LOCKE: How would I know? What does it matter to me why some creep wants to know everything about you or why they want these damn gloves? I should have just given you up. You’re not worth sticking my neck out for.
KAPLAN: What’s their name?
LOCKE: I don’t know. It’s not–I mean, it’s not…
KAPLAN: Vi? Are you okay?
LOCKE: (Dazed) Red? I don’t feel…
(LOCKE COLLAPSES.)
KAPLAN: Vi!
(KAPLAN GOES TO LOCKE AND PULLS HER UP.)
LOCKE: Un. Ugh. Wh-What?
KAPLAN: You collapsed, Vi. What–What happened?
LOCKE: Who…who are you?
KAPLAN: What? I’m Roy. Roy Kaplan. We used to work together, a long time ago. We were talking just now.
LOCKE: No, I think you’re mistaken. I’ve never known a Roy, and I would remember meeting someone who looked like you.
KAPLAN: If this is a joke, this isn’t funny. What’s going on?
LOCKE: I’m not joking! I’ve never met you in my life, so I’ll thank you to stop touching me!
(KAPLAN STEPS BACK.)
KAPLAN: Sorry.
LOCKE: Where am I? How did I get here?
KAPLAN: This is my office. You fainted.
LOCKE: I see. In that case, I think I should go.
KAPLAN: Yes…maybe that’s for the best.
(FOOTSTEPS. DOOR OPENS.)
LOCKE: My head hurts. You said your name is Roy?
KAPLAN: Yeah?
LOCKE: I’ve got a message for you: Keep your third eye open, Red.
(LOCKE EXITS.)
KAPLAN: What? What–Vi, what the hell is that supposed to…
(DOOR CLOSES.)
KAPLAN: (Sighs) She’s gone.
KAPLAN: (V.O.) And just as suddenly as Vi walked into my life, she walked right back out again. I was glad to see her go, but I was worried all the same. I didn’t understand what had happened to her and I didn’t think she was joking when she said she didn’t remember me. That just wasn’t how she operated. As for the metamer gloves, I returned them to Vollman’s safe. It was easy to get in and out now that I’d seen all the security systems for myself. Vollman didn’t deserve to get into trouble because of my issues.
KAPLAN: (V.O.) I ended the case with a lot more questions than answers–namely who was going to so much trouble to find me. It sounded like they had a little psychic power up their sleeve, and that was nothing but trouble. Well, my mysterious watcher decided to tip their hand with this mess, but they’ll regret that. When it comes to finding people, there’s no one better than me, and now my third eye is aimed straight at them.
(ENDING THEME.)
OUTRO: You’ve just heard Bait and Stitch, the third episode of Roy Kaplan: Out of Sight. Kaplan was played by Jesse Peng, Wes by Caleb Jensen. Our cast also includes Maganda Marie, Kyle “Alphalance” Stover, Zuwie LeFou, Steven Jobson, and Rebecca Clifford.
Roy Kaplan is written, edited, and produced by Jesse Peng. Our music is composed by Beacon.
This show is brought to you by The Pinwheel Lab. If you like what you hear, you can find us over at roykaplanpod on Tumblr, or on thepinwheellab.com. If you really like what you hear, you can also support us on Patreon, where you can hear the next episode a little sooner than everyone else. All financial support goes to production, and helps make Season 2 more likely to happen.
What troubles await our intrepid detective? Tune in next time to find out, and I’ll see you on the other side.
02 – Murder By Proxy | Roy Kaplan Home | Out of Sight Home | 04 – Dead Man’s Safe